Similarities and Differences in Communication Styles

In considering the similarities and differences in evaluating my communication styles my husband, fellow coworker, and myself were mostly in agreement and the numbers varied very little.  All three assessments including my own saw my listening style profile as group 1 which is people-oriented, “empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others” (Rubin & Sypher, 2009, para. 1).  My personal assessment of verbal aggressiveness rating was 65 as was my husband and colleague’s evaluations fell within the moderate range of maintaining “a good balance between respect and consideration for others’ viewpoints, and the ability to argue fairly by attacking the facts of a position rather than the person holding that position” (Rubin & Sypher, 2009, para. 3).  The differences in scoring came in the communication anxiety inventory with me seeing myself at a 48 with moderate anxiety and my husband and colleague rating me within the mild range implicating I do not worry a great deal about communication.                                                                    

The insights I have gained from this week’s exercise is the part that schemas or “mental structures that put together related bits of information” (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 37) from past experiences play in our perceptions of others.  I was amazed at the scenarios created from a single picture.  “The truth is that for better or for worse, you glean quite a bit of information from first impressions” (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 37).  I also learned about how I perceive my own communication skills compared to how others see me.  I thought the assignments were enlightening about communication styles and potential hindrances to competent communication.                                                       

The reading assignments this week shared information on perceptual barriers and the important of “mindfulness, being respectful of others, and maintain an accurate perception of the situation” (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 44) to effective intercultural exchange.  As teachers/caregivers we have a common goal to provide quality learning experiences for the children in our programs and this can best be accomplished through building a rapport and successful communication with children and families.  It also requires effective communication with coworkers, other professionals and community resources.  In successfully communicating in a diverse society teachers/caregivers must learn about cultural diversity and understand that families communicate differently to best meet the needs of the children in the classroom.      

References

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York, NY: Bedford/St. Martins

Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

Communicating Differently with People from Different Groups and Cultures

Communicating Differently with People from Different Groups and Cultures

Concerning cultural diversity and communicating with children, families, colleagues, community members whether from different cultures, racial or ethnic groups, socioeconomic class, religious beliefs, political affiliations, sexual orientations, or varying abilities all should be within the context of mutual respect and cooperation.  Effective communication skills involve actively listening to build understanding and expressing oneself to be understood—no one communication style works with everyone.  “In order to avoid quarrels and distress with the neighbor, a person of a different ethnic background, gender or age one must achieve competency in inter-cultural communications” (Vuckovic, 2008, p. 47).  It is so important to communicate in a thoughtful and accepting manner and strive to see information from another’s perspective.  According to Vuckovic (2008) perception is “the way in which an individual receives and actively samples information from the surrounding environment” (p. 49).                                                                                                                                                                

One strategy in communicating differently with diverse groups is to carefully observe both verbal and nonverbal actions and behaviors.  “Listen carefully to the tone of voice, tempo of speech, and the intensity of the physical and emotional undertones of the gestures” (Swim & Watson, 2011, p. 178).  Touch, eye contact, personal space are most often linguistic conventions that are culturally based and it is important to learn how culture influences communication to develop a rapport and greater understanding of others.  The second strategy I would implement is to know the strengths and areas of need in communicating with children, families, colleagues, and others that may need additional support.  Our area has a very high rate of poverty and I will include community resources regularly as part of our communication.  “Although we may not intend anything negative, sometimes we unintentionally offend someone through more subtle use and misuse of language” (Beebe & Beebe, 2011, p. 89).  Therefore, the third strategy would be to take into consideration the sexual orientation, religious convictions and political affiliations of others although they may differ from our own beliefs and values we must conduct all interactions and communications within the context of respect and skilled disagreement.

References

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon

Swim, T. J., & Watson, L. (2011). Infants and toddlers: Curriculum and teaching (7^th ed.). Belmont, CA: Cengage Learning

Vuckovic, A. (2008). Inter-cultural communication: A foundation of communicative action. Multicultural Education and Technology Journal, 2(1), 47–59.

Observing Communication Skills and Styles

Observing Communication Skills and Styles

I rarely watch television the extent to which I watch is Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.  I watched the last 30 minutes of a movie called The Family Man with Nicholas Cage and Tea Leoni.  I don’t have a recorder so I borrowed a movie I had wanted to watch from my daughter-in-law.  I watched the last 30 minutes without sound and when I started watching a lady is lying in the bed and a man is sitting next to her bed in a chair talking to her.  He walks out of the room and takes a dog for a walk.  Then it is back to the bedroom and he is sitting watching her sleep trying to stay awake.  The next scene he wakes up in a different bedroom and in a different bed with someone knocking on the door.  It is a beautiful young lady and he walks past her. He goes to a house from a posh apartment in a very fancy car to a nice but modest neighborhood and knocks on the door.  A man comes to the door and they talk and he leaves. He gets back in the car and he answers the phone.                                                                                                                       

The next scene he is at a board meeting and everyone seems to be looking to him for answers.  He leaves and goes to his car and makes a phone call.  He arrives at another building where someone is moving.  He engages the lady in a conversation and she gives him a box and it is the same lady that he was sitting at her bedside and she dismisses him.  He takes the box that has different items including English Leather cologne, a yo-yo, and a picture.  He seems sad and pensive. He gets back in his car driving very fast and goes to the airport.  He is running through the airport and she is getting ready to board the plane.  He yells to her and she turns around and he keeps taking to her although she continues to board the plane.  He says something and she stops.  Then next scene they are sitting at a table looking out a window and it is snowing they seemed to be very involved with each other and enjoying the conversation.                                                                                                                                                           

It was a little confusing without being able to listen to the conversations, but you get an idea of what is occurring. Having seen It Is a Wonderful Life I got an idea that it was something similar to it.  I believed that he was in love with the lady and she did not trust him. When I listened to the movie my assumptions were true that it was a feel good movie with a happy ending—I love happy endings.  It was similar to It Is a Wonderful Life and Jack was given the opportunity to see his life with Kate if he had made different choices.   Having been given an opportunity to glimpse what was truly important in life he was determined to make this a reality for Kate and himself.  I believe it would have been easier to follow and my assumptions more correct if I had been familiar with the characters and the roles they play.   

Competent Communicator

America’s Pastor—The Reverend Billy Graham

A person that I consider to be an eloquent and effective communicator is Reverend Billy Graham. He goes down in history as the only preacher to be acquainted and advisor to every president since 1950 including President Barack Obama. Reverend Billy Graham used the media to get his message of Christianity and Jesus Christ out in a live audience format on radio and television and is still being rebroadcast today.  According to Billy Graham Evangelistic Association (2013) more than 3.2 million people have responded to the invitation at the Crusades to accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior. As of 2008, Graham's estimated lifetime audience, including radio and television broadcasts, topped 2.2 billion.  “For the 56th time since 1955, Billy Graham has made the USA Today/Gallup Top 10 list of Most Admired Men in the World” (Freeze, 2013, para. 1).                                                                                                                               

The qualities that I deem that makes him such a persuasive speaker are not only his powerful and well-articulate way of speaking, but it is the amazing way in which he connects to the audience that stands out.  “Successful people usually have a well-developed set of skills that allows them to do their work successfully, inspiring others in the process” (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 19).  I remember as a child sitting with my Daddy in front of the television watching the Reverend Billy Graham.  He would place his hands upon the podium and with a clear commanding voice and there would be silence among the thousands gathered to listen to him preach the gospel.  His distinctive voice would fill the stadium as he preached the power of the love of God.  Reverend Graham said, “You must come publicly if you profess Jesus before men, He will profess you before His Father.”  Thousands would come forward.  Reverend Graham’s words and presence were so stirring and moving that my Daddy and I would cry and I rarely saw my Daddy cry.  Yes, I would love to model my communication behaviors after this person because I greatly admire his ability to connect with others and express his beliefs and opinions in a way that is well received.    

References

Freeze, T. (2013). Billy Graham among most admired 56^th time. Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. Retrieved from http://www.billygraham.org/articlepage.asp?articleid=9138

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martins

Professional Hopes and Goals

The hope I have in working with children and families from diverse backgrounds is that I can build responsive and reciprocal relationships with the families where information and decisions are shared working together for the best interest of the children.  I hope to promote a positive sense of self in the children where they feel confident in their own abilities—this can best be accomplished by meeting their needs socially, emotionally, and academically in a caring and sensitive manner that supports their individual as well as group diversity.  I hope my interactions with all children and families are grounded in respect with trust as the cornerstone.  I hope to not only value and respect diversity of groups, but also beliefs and values different from my own.                                                         

The goal I have set as an early childhood professional related to diversity, equity, and social justice is to instill in the children I serve that diversity is an invaluable asset that contributes to society.  Although our society is made up of people with different colored skin, speaking different languages, and being of different beliefs we are all part of the larger whole—we are all human beings deserving of consideration and respect.  “One of the finest hopes we can have for our children is to give them a just world—a world that recognizes all people for the unique, fully human beings they are…” (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010, p. 30).                                                                                                    

I would like to thank all my Fellow Colleagues for sharing your insights, thoughts, beliefs, and memories throughout this course of study on diversity and equity.  It has been both enlightening and reassuring to realize such dedicated professionals are working with young children hoping to bring a greater awareness and appreciation of diversity into the classroom.  I would also like to thank our instructor Dr. Snider for enlivening this course with her insightful questions that required both reflection and knowledge.  Dr. Snider encouraged a forum that was not only open but stimulated an awareness of our own beliefs and values.                                   

References

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

In consideration of a memory or an incident where you experience bias, prejudice or oppression there are many such memories.  Being from the mountains of Southeastern Kentucky there are various stereotypes associated with people from the Appalachian Mountains and most are negative.  I remember watching Bill O’Reilly and listening to comments about the people of Appalachia being a culture of poverty and ignorance and advised when children grow up to just move away.  These types of media representations contribute to the negative stereotypes of people from our region as uneducated, toothless, moonshiners, who intermarry.  Our area has serious issues that must be addressed with poverty, but those of the Appalachians are a proud and generous people that have love of family and traditions.                                                                                                

The dialect is definitely distinctive and easily recognizable and many words used in our area would not be understood elsewhere.  Where our dialect is different it has also established the stereotype of being inferior and people judge intelligence, manners, and values to be lacking—which is far from the truth.  The terms used are often rooted in Elizabethan English with a little Scottish and Irish “thrown in for good measure.” The isolation of the mountains has preserved the language that has been lost by the passing of time.  The dialect that is viewed to be used by ignorant backwoods people is in fact the language historically preserved.                                                                                                                                    

The ways in which these incidents of bias, prejudice, and oppression diminish equity are they reinforce negative stereotypes.  This lack of acceptance of our diversity is especially harmful to young children and has contributed to the loss of cultural pride and perpetrated shame of one’s cultural identity for adults and children alike.  I was extremely offended by these incidents and I experienced feelings of sadness, hurt, and anger that people would not only tolerate but accept stereotypes that discriminate against others in such a way.                                                                 

What would have to change in order to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity?  Hopefully, the progress we have seen toward other marginalized groups would be extended to those from the Appalachian Mountains and the next time you see depictions and hear our dialect remember the rich cultural history and repudiate the stereotypes. 

Practicing Awareness of Microagressions

This took place a couple of months ago, we were in a store that provides cellular service and my daughter-in-law was helping me find a cell phone because I really don’t understand about choosing one.  There was a black lady and a coal miner that must have just gotten off work and he was covered with coal dust.  They were standing at a circular counter with two registers and only one sales clerk. The sales clerk was a young lady that I noticed had glanced over a few times at the lady and the coal miner that had been standing patiently for some time as she waited on other customers.  There was this gentleman that was in a suit and nicely dressed came walking in and the clerk walked over to where the gentleman was standing at the counter and asked could she help him.  We were still looking around the store and coal miner turned around and walked out and the lady said, “We have been standing in line.  I think I am next.”  The gentleman said, “She is right. She is next in line.”  We stated, “Yes, she had been standing here for a while.”  After, she had checked out we were all engaging in conversation and we overheard the checkout girl snidely say to another worker that just entered, “This coal miner came in and carried dirt all around the store.”  By this time, the lady had enough, “Sweetie, if not for the coal miners willing to go in the mines you would not have a job.  You need some training in customer service.”  My daughter-in-law and I chimed in, “AMEN! Yes, you do!”    

On observing it taking place I felt sad for the people that were being the target of the microaggression as it was obvious what the clerk was doing.   I wanted to say something—but I was unsure what to do and how to react.  She was valuing a white customer over a person of color and someone that appeared to be more affluent than the coal miner.  “Racial inequities are so deeply ingrained in American society that they are nearly invisible, and most White Americans are unaware of the advantages they enjoy in society and how their attitudes and actions unintentionally discriminate against persons of color” (Wing Sue, Capodilupo, Toringo, Bucceri, Holder, Nada, & Esquilin, 2007, p. 271).  I was pleased that almost everyone there spoke up against the microaggression and it was not left unchallenged.                                                                                                                         

I think studying about microaggressions this week and the forms that they take brings awareness to the brief everyday indignities that convey devaluing or negative racial offensives or insults. It also brought understanding to the effects and the power these although short-lived communications can have on the individual or target of the microaggressions.  Dr. D. Wing Sue (2007) states:                                                                                                                                               

“Although microaggressions may be seemingly innocuous and insignificant, their effects   can be quite dramatic.  D. W. Sue believes that this contemporary form of racism is many times over more problematic, damaging, and injurious to persons of color than overt racist acts.  It has been noted that the cumulative effects of racial microaggressions may theoretically result in diminished morality, augmented morbidity and flattened confidence” (p. 279). 

The victim of the microaggression may question many aspects of the incident such as did it actually happen, was it intentional, how do I react, etc.  These types of experiences can be very detrimental to one’s sense of reality and very frustrating where if it is not subtle it can be directly addressed.   

References

Wing Sue, D., Capodilupo, C. M., Torino, G. C., Bucceri, J. M., Holder, A. M. B., Nadal, K. L., & Esquilin, M. (2007, May-June). Racial microaggressions in everyday life implications for clinical practice. American Psychologist. Retrieved from http://olc.edu/~jolson/socialwork/OnlineLibrary/microaggression%20article.pdf